Welcome to Moms Get Real! This is an interactive blog where real moms post about pregnancy, motherhood, and all the ups and downs that they bring! Please feel free to comment, request posts, and submit posts as a guest blogger too!
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Hello all. I know, I know… long time no hear. I think I speak on behalf of all the admins when I say we’re super sorry about that.
That’s why I wanted to write on this topic today. What is it like to run a mom blog? Hard. Plain and simple. But it’s also super fun so don’t worry.
Moms have one of the hardest jobs on the planet. We spend months creating little humans, and then raising them, keeping them safe, teaching them EVERYTHING. Add on jobs, boyfriends/husbands (or doing it by yourself), trying to have a social life, and much more. Then we have fun ideas like blogs, crafts, and so much more.
The blog is a great place to vent, celebrate, relate to others, ask questions, and more. But sometimes we have a lot of trouble finding the time.
I personally would like to try a lot harder to rebuild this blog. But it’s a group effort! We would love active bloggers, guest bloggers, and readers who interact. Please comment and help us out – let us know what topics you want us to write about, and let us know if you’re interested in guest-blogging or joining our team!
Well I’m finally back to the blog. I have been insanely overwhelmed finishing my second semester of college and of course spending time with my 10 month old that’s now crawling, standing, and pulling things off all the shelves (lol). But here I am now, on summer break and half way through college (I’m doing a 2 year conservatory). This has definitely been the hardest and most rewarding time of my life thus far.
College conservatory in the performing arts is crazy demanding. Every day – dance, stage combat, a series of different acting classes, and so much more (not to mention the emotional rollercoaster that comes with acting)…70 hours a week on average when you add rehearsal time, and then go home and do homework, read plays, try to eat something and if you’re lucky still have time for a little sleep.
Then there’s life as a young single mom. Feedings- which involve struggling with nursing because now you’re not home all the time and don’t have a schedule that allows for pumping, developmental games, quality play time, still not sleeping through the night, naptime and bath time becoming more like war time, constant cleaning of the house just to watch it get destroyed again, stories, songs, and whatever else you want to invest in as a mom (if you’re like me and many new moms you may be into homemaking food and working to keep a very healthy lifestyle with a lot of diy tutorials —-please don’t beat yourself up if you don’t do this as it can be really too much for some people and that’s okay. I am definitely not perfect at this).
Both moms and college students are stressed out, underfed, and tired all the time. Now let’s take a crazy person and put those two lifestyles into one. Yeah, it was a lot to say the least. But I absolutely have no regrets. In fact, I have grown so much as a person these past several months. I have learned a lot about confidence and strength (and time management lol). I’ve learned how to cope with that stress and be a good mom and a good student. And to accept when I fail.
I want to talk a little about the performing arts world for a minute. Something that became super apparent to me lately is how unaccommodating the arts world is to mothers – particularly single moms. I am the only student to every have attended my particular college as a mother. That in itself is a big point for me. So many moms don’t attend school because of how difficult it is to balance both along with a job. In a society where working moms are becoming more accepted, I think this should progress as well. Some colleges are better in this regard – providing family housing on campus and sometimes even allowing moths to bring their children to classes. Others, like my own, did not have this same respect. I had to find a place off-campus (New York City prices!!!), was not even allowed to bring my daughter in the building, and had to maintain my strict schedule and no-absence policy. And I did. And I’d do it again. But despite it being possible, it is not practical and really should not be the case. I kept up with rehearsals, attendance, assignments – not only keeping up, but excelling. I’m a very timid person and wouldn’t usually find pride in myself, but this is something that I know I did well and I’m trying to be okay with admitting that. And not only this, but when I was home you can bet I was pouring myself into my daughter and when all my classmates were hanging out or getting rest I was spending quality time with her -reading to her, feeding her, playing and singing and rocking her to sleep every night. And that was okay. It was okay that I was doing that and it was okay that they weren’t. My purpose here is not to downplay the other people in my school – they all worked insanely hard and had every right to their exhaustion. I say this only to point out that my motherhood was not abandoned as I was pursuing education. And I still spent time with friends on breaks. I may not have taken the best care of myself, but I did occasionally try. My school tried to deter me from attending for sake of me being a young single mom. I had to prove to them that it could be done. I had to prove to the performing arts world that mothers could have a part in pursuing their passions, no matter how demanding they may be. I didn’t take this lightly and I didn’t back down when the pressure was overwhelming – but there were definitely times when I thought about it. Luckily I had the support and childcare help of my father and a flexible job I work from my phone to get me through.
All this to say, I want to encourage mothers to chase their dreams no matter how big they may be. Pave the way for others so that one day the education system will be forced to stop ignoring the problem at hand. I also want to challenge the performing arts world and our education system to be more accepting and accommodating for mothers. Work studies have proven that moms are the best workers because they have developed self-responsibly, organization, and management skills beyond the average person. Stop telling us “it’s too much to handle” or we already have “too much on our plates”. I’m well aware of how much I can eat and I chose to go back for seconds – of course after I finish reading Shakespeare to my little girl.
No one talks about it but its so difficult to keep friendships with friends after you have a baby. Especially with ones who dont have children of their own.
One day you’re hanging out having fun and going on long drives, getting coffee, working out, and making plans 45 minutes before you do them.
Then everything changes…
You have your beautiful bundle of joy.
People visit in the hospital, or text saying how they can’t wait to meet him/her. You believe them. You can’t wait. You think to yourself “Man I’m so excited to share this miracle with everyone I spend the most time with”.
Then days go by, weeks, even months…
No calls, no texts, and especially no visits.
You try to contact everyone who said they’d be there but they dont answer.
It’s like it takes 3-5 business days for a response. Sometimes you get an occasional “How are you?” But nothing about seeing you or spending time.
You finally realize.. You’re alone. You’re a mom now and thats all everyone sees you as. No more lunch dates, no more coffee, no more gyms, and especially no more spontaneous drives to no where.
You’re a mom now. The greatest joy and accomplishment anyone could ever bestow on you. You realize that those people don’t matter. You have your amazing baby to watch grow and flourish.
It may hurt sometimes and you may feel alone. Just remember your prince/princess is watching so don’t let your crown slip! You can do this and there are plenty of people you can talk to.
They don’t always have to be those single, baby-less friends. Look around. One day they’ll have a baby of their own and realize… And maybe you’ll be there and maybe you’ll have moved on with your life. It’s their bed to lay in not yours.
So I’m getting the mirena iud when I go for my 6 week pp appointment and was wandering what y’alls experience was with it.. Everyone on my Facebook had nothing good to say about it. Someone give me some positive feedback from it please?