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Welcome to Moms Get Real! This is an interactive blog where real moms post about pregnancy, motherhood, and all the ups and downs that they bring! Please feel free to comment, request posts, and submit posts as a guest blogger too!

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The Admins

Ectopic Pregnancy

A few weeks ago I found out I was pregnant with my third baby, scared at first of how I would handle three kids. I quickly adapted to the idea. I began to prepare for next nine months of what I thought my life was gonna be like. I had been taking prenatal vitamins for a few weeks, drinking more water and getting plenty of sleep. Naturally my body has issues and pregnancy makes those issues worse but I had been staying on top of it, or so I thought.

When I woke up of May 15th, my life changed. It started out like any other day. I had got my kids stuff together, got them up and out the door to daycare. I got the work at 7 a.m. like any other day, clocked in and went to work.

My belly started to ache not long into my shift. Since I wasn’t bleeding I wasn’t concerned for a miscarriage. I thought it was probably just from constipation and that could be normal for me. I eventually felt as if I needed to go to the doctor to find some sort of relief, so I let my manager know and left work.

I arrived at Urgent Care and waited for them to open to be seen. Finally 8:30 came. I checked in and not long after they called me back into the room. I described to the nurse why I was there. My blood pressure was high but she said that was normal since I wasn’t feeling well. She felt around my belly for a bit and confirmed I was probably constipated but mentioned getting an ultrasound just to be sure everything was fine.

For most getting an ultrasound done is exciting and a big moment in the beginning stages of pregnancy but that was not the case for me. I drove 30 minutes to another doctor office where they were going to do it. Before I left the office she told me I wouldn’t have any results until the next day. So I couldn’t have even prepared for what was going to happen.

Go in, get checked in at this office and again it didn’t take long for them to call me back. The ultrasound tech let me know he was able to see a little bit of fluid in my belly. Being that I was only 6 weeks along he would have to do a vaginal ultrasound. After he finished up he told me he needed to go call my doctor to see what we needed to do. This had me more scared then ever.

After I was able to get dressed another doctor rushed in the room to tell me that my pregnancy was ectopic and had torn my tubes. I was starting to bleed in my stomach. He said the chances of this happening are uncommon, but that didn’t matter to me because it was happening. I couldn’t even process what was being told to me. I felt like I needed to rush out of the room.

I was told I had to go see my OB/GYN which was not far. I had tried to call them and no one picked up. I decided to just go talk to them and see what they said. To them it was just as emergent and she scheduled me an appointment with my doctor for an hour later. We waited for what felt like forever to see my doctor and finally they called my name. We walked back in the room and they told me they hadn’t heard anything from the office that diagnosed it and they needed to do another ultrasound to be sure. I prayed they would find something different or some sortof mistake but that didn’t happen.

They left the room and came back with another doctor who was now telling me I need to go to the emergency room across the street and he was going to call and let them know I was coming. I was so numb to the feeling I didn’t even get to process what was going on. Before I knew it we were across the street in the emergency room and they were checking me in. They took me straight to a room and they got me started on an IV and let me know what was gonna happen next. ANOTHER ultrasound.. Same thing… Same answer, just this time I was told they needed to do surgery to remove my tube since it was to damaged to repair.

The doctors left and I waited and waited. Because I wasn’t dying and was stable, they weren’t in any rush. I even asked if I could go home and just come back. No one would give me answers of when they were coming back. I just wanted to go home to hug my babies but instead I was stuck waiting to give up my unborn baby.

Finally they let me know that they were coming to get me any minute to do the surgery. It wasn’t long after, at least it felt to me that I was waking up in the recovery room.

I was released and able to go home. However I didn’t get to bring my baby home. I was cut open to get my baby out. It wasn’t going home with me and that hit me hard. I was back home with my kids ages six and two. I told them what had happened and that mommy no longer had a baby in her belly.

My six year old couldn’t even look at me. She just burst into tears (she had been asking me for a little sister for about a year).

I’ve been lucky enough to work for a great company to. They gave me some time off to recover from this traumatic experience

-Sami

Body Changes Before, During, and After!

We all know how it feels to fluctuate in weight! Especially if you’re doing a constant battle of eat healthy and stay healthy..

This was me for a very long time. I almost always tried to lose weight and maintain my health so I could boost my fertility. I can’t remember the first time being a mom had ever crossed my mind but what I do remember is I knew that I wanted a baby and I knew I would do anything for that life.

I was in college.. I was not eating well at all… I had given up on the idea of ever getting pregnant.. after all we had been trying for 4 years with no luck. A constant flow of fertility meds, leafy greens, and water.. I was completely over it. I was heartbroken.

I wasn’t happy either way. I ate my feelings.. before college I was 170 pounds. My weight hit an all time high. Weighing in at 202 pounds. My knees hurt, my back ached, and I was always tired. I always felt like I was being drug through the dirt.

This program was 9 months long and with my rapid weight gain I didn’t know if I would ever make it through school on my feet everyday.

Fast forward 3 months into my program at school. I decided to eat “healthier” that day so I went to subway *my school was at the top floor of a mall*. I was waiting in line and there was only one person working and they were so so slow. I was getting angry because I only had 30 minutes to order AND eat my lunch. The lady behind me was crowding me and the person in front of me couldn’t make up their mind. I had this overwhelming urge to kill all.

When I had finally gotten my food and headed back to the lunch room I was super dizzy. I almost felt like the sun was beating on me directly.. but I was indoors.. My classmates asked me “Whats wrong” but I didnt know the answer. I blamed my unhealthy lifestyle.

That was it and the last straw. I joined a gym close to my house that next day and started working out. It was awesome because I didn’t have to work out alone. I was allowed to bring 1 guest. I was talking to the friend I had taken with me about how she thought she was pregnant because of all the things she had been craving. Jokingly I said “Maybe I’m pregnant! I tried to kill a subway worker yesterday!” She laughed and told me to go home and take a test.

Fast forward to a week later.. I finally bought a test. I decided to use it when no one was home. I wasn’t expecting anything to happen because I had seen so many negative tests before. Jokes on me! It was plain as day! The test line was even way way darker than the control line!

Now everything made sense. The back aches, the dizziness, the nausea, and the hot flashes. Oh man, I was pregnant!

Going ahead in time to about 3 months along in my pregnancy…. I’m still in school chugging along. It’s starting to get hot outside *its April*. I’m feeling it. I’m starting to show a little bit. My morning sickness is unbearable. I can barely eat and I’m puking all day long. My sickness didn’t stop until I was 20 weeks along. I lost quite a bit of weight. Nothing too concerning though. I definitley wasn’t over 200 pounds anymore.

By month 6 I was on extern *job shadowing without pay for 6 weeks*. It’s July and my A/C doesnt work in my car. I feel like a bloated basketball. I have horrible stretch marks, my feet are swollen, I’m sweating like a dog, and I can’t touch my toes. Long hours at a vet clinic are a “no go” for a pregnant lady. I did not like being on my feet for 12 hours a day.

My body felt like it had been through the ringer. I didn’t even know that it was possible for it to get worse. Oh it did. By October a month before I was due I ended up getting a stretch mark so bad that it went from the top of my ribs to the middle of my stomach and it was red and continuously bleeding. My hair felt like a haystack from lacking in vitamins. My skin was dry and itchy. My nails were cracking and chipping. I was a mess.

Due date day.. I had my little girl. I was so SORE. Everything hurt. My lady parts were so swollen I almost couldn’t close my legs all the way. I felt like someone hit me with a baseball bat repeatedly. My breasts were engorged. I was bleeding constantly. My feet were nasty and huge from the constant flow of fluids and the epidural. I was AH and UGH all at the same time.

I still looked pregnant leaving the hospital. It took my stomach 3 weeks to fully “deflate”. When they say to wait the 6 weeks before continuing normal activities including but not limited to sexual ones.. THEY MEAN IT! OUCHHHIE. Don’t do it. You need time to heal and recover. Because of trying too soon it took me 10X longer to “bounce back”.

Today… I still have stretch marks.. They are my “tiger stripes” and I earned every one of them! My back still hurts every once in a while. I visit a chiropractor regularly. My skin still sags. Plus its taking me some time to work off this baby weight but I’m not too concerned because my jeans still fit! My hips sometimes pop and I’m not breastfeeding anymore, so the girls hang a little lower than they used to. Over all though I’m ready to go again. I would give birth 1000X over even with all my complications and I will always choose to stay healthy because thats how my little girl made it here.

Body changes are tough but you are stong momma! You can do this! You earned it 🙂

—Tayler ❤

Tayler’s Birth Story

I battled with infertility for 3 years before I finally conceived my daughter. They found out I had gestational diabetes when I was only 16 weeks along. They found out I had anemia when I was 30 weeks along.

I was due to be induced with my daughter on November 15th 2018. It was like any other First Time Moms normal fears. Was the induction going to hurt? How long was it going to take for her to get here? Were there going to be any complications? I really didn’t want to have a C-section so I was very stern on sticking with my birth plan of having a vaginal delivery as long as there was nothing wrong with my daughter.

So the day finally came and I was supposed to arrive at 10 at night on November 15th so they could start my dilation medicine *cervadil* at midnight. So I arrived and I was super excited to finally meet her and get the process going. I didn’t eat much because I was super nervous but I did eat some because I was told that I would get tired very fast. I remember that night before we came into the hospital very well because my aunt had made me dinner to calm my nerves.

I remember the doctor specifically telling me not to take my insulin before I came in because she didn’t want my numbers to drop during labor.

Remind you that with gestational diabetes I was taking over 70 units of insulin a night and 20 units in the morning.

So we finally arrived at the hospital and I’m sitting in the truck sweating. I’m feeling super hot because of how nervous I was. They told us not to bring everything in until she was here because we would be switching rooms. I walk in and the nurses are all super nice and greet me. They walk us back to our delivery room and it’s already set up with my daughter’s name on the board and everything. All I could think was oh my gosh here we go it’s time to finally do what we’ve all been waiting for.

My nurse comes in takes my name takes my birth date, puts my wristbands on, and goes back to get stuff for my IV. It felt like she was gone for ages but when she finally came back it took two different tries to get my IV in because I didn’t drink enough water *my first mistake*.

They started my cervadil a little bit early at 11. We waited for two hours and it hadn’t done much for my dilation so they started me on a pitocin drip.

Smile in the midst of trying to get the right dosage at the right time. They ended up giving me too much too fast. I started contracting every 10 seconds while being only 2cm dilated.

They tried to put a balloon in to open up my cervix a little bit more but it was so painful that I was screaming the entire time that they were putting it in.

I was told to meet with the anesthesiologist as soon as possible to get my paperwork done with him so I didn’t have to do it at last minute when I wanted my epidural done. Mind you I was going in with the idea that I wanted to do this completely natural but it was okay if I couldn’t. So I met with him and not even 10 minutes later I needed the epidural. The contractions were coming too fast and too strong for how far along I was dilated.

So he comes and sets up all of his equipment and we start putting in my epidural. At first he asked me if he had placed it correctly but I could only feel the numbness on my left side so he had to take the needle all the way back out and redo it again. So anybody who’s had an epidural before knows that it doesn’t feel very good but having to do it a second time was much worse.

Finally my epidural is in and it works and I start to feel a lot better. All of a sudden I felt really dizzy and really ill. They checked my blood sugar and it was at a 28. 20 is when you will go into a diabetic coma. So they made me eat something so I wouldn’t pass out. My blood sugar wasn’t budging and it wasn’t going up any higher like it should have which was a big concern for them.

We’re going to fast forward for a few hours if not a whole bunch of hours. It’s 6 a.m. on November 17th and it’s finally time to start pushing because I’m finally 10 centimeters dilated. Perfect timing because my doctor had just walked in to start her shift.

She came in and said how she’s super excited and let’s get things going. About that time my husband runs from the side of me and said “Wait I’ve got to go to the bathroom!” Men in their impeccable timing am I right? So he’s in there and it feels like it’s been 4 hours but in reality it was only about 4 minutes.

We get all resituated and I start to push. At first while pushing all I could think was that I didn’t feel any different and it didn’t feel like anything was happening but my epidural was wearing off and I started to feel everything. Come to find out since I had gotten the epidural so early it was starting to have no effect on me. At that point I didn’t care because I just wanted to get her out safe and sound.

Continuing to push my blood sugar took a nosedive again and I start blacking in and out. Next thing I know I wake up and it’s 2.5 hours later into pushing and they’re talking about doing a C-section because she is down but she keeps popping in and out of my pelvis. They didn’t think she was going to be able to pass through.

I remember freaking out on them and telling them “No we’re sticking to my birth plan because if there’s nothing apparently wrong with her she’s coming out naturally before I ever think about having her taken out of me that way and having to be down for that much longer without being able to take care of her.” Now don’t get me wrong I think c-section mommas are just as strong as vaginal delivery mom’s but I couldn’t handle it.

All of a sudden something just came over me and with the next three pushes she was out. She came flying out too and kicked me twice. At first I didn’t hear her scream but after they cleaned out her nose and her mouth she let out the loudest cry I’ve ever heard. They put her on me without even cutting the cord first and let her lay with me. I remember putting her on my boob to latch and the next thing I know I fell asleep and woke up 2 hours later. They told me that she nursed for a full 45 minutes and that she was a natural.

At that time I was listening to the nurse but I couldn’t quite hear her because I was fading in and out and concentrating on what the doctor was doing. She told me she was continuously putting meds inside because she couldn’t control my bleeding. Supposedly I had lost a lot of blood and she wasn’t surprised. I remember her specifically telling me that iron meds only do so much.

Within the next few hours I was up and walking around and we finally got to move to our other room. That’s when they told me that they were concerned with my daughter’s blood sugar because it kept dropping and then it kept getting really high. They told me that they were going to have to monitor her every hour and poke her poor little foot just to make sure that she was maintaining an equal blood sugar. We had to stay for an extra two and a half days just to make sure that she was okay before we went home.

Now my daughter is perfectly fine and has no problems with her blood sugar. She is a happy 17 lb 6 month old 🙂

Mandi’s Birth Story (Guest Blogger)

It started one spring afternoon on May 21st. I was at my sister in-laws complaining about how miserable I was. I was hot, huge, couldn’t breathe and my feet were swollen for days. She asked me if she could rub some essential oils on me. I was like um yeah! Any thing was better than just waiting around while being in misery. She said they should relax me but they very well could put me into labor. I laughed like yeah right. The smell of the oil definitely calmed me and I just felt this sense of peace. When I went home that evening I kept having stabbing pains like trapped gas pain. I shrugged it off thinking it was just Braxton Hicks contractions.

About 8pm I was talking to my husband about my pain. He said maybe you should pack your bag just in case. I laughed and said I’m not that lucky. Well needless to say I started packing. I started timing my pains because they would literally come and go, come and go. So at about 2 am they were every 15min. So I just laid down thinking I had time even if I was in labor. I researched alot, read alot and nothing prepared me for what was about to happen.

 At 4am I woke up and I remember thinking, this is it. I know it is. I picked up my phone and started timing. 6min apart with 3 contractions. I woke my husband by throwing a pack of wipes at him and yelling ITS TIME! By this time I was in pain every 5 min. As soon as I stood up from the bed I felt like I peed all over myself. As I walked it just kept coming out. I yelled ahhhh MY WATER BROKE!  At this point my husband was loading the kids and my bags in the car. We dropped my kids off at my sister in-laws. She said Mandi I’m coming! I’m bringing oils and my camera. As my husband races me to the hospital I remember counting the yellow lines on the highway because it helped me deal with the pain. Weird I know but it really helped me.

We pull up to the hospital. My husband races to get me a wheelchair. I start walking till he arrived with the chair. My water trail behind me lol. They get me right to my room. She asked me if I could pee in a cup. I said I’ll try but mam I’m in pain. She said it’s ok if you don’t. I changed into my gown and came out of the bathroom screaming in pain. The nurses helped me to my bed and checked my dilation. The nurse yelled she’s a 10 100 percent effaced. I knew then it was go time. She looked at me right in the face and said you can do this! As soon as you feel the urge to poop you push with all your might.

Keep in mind I was only in the hospital 8 minutes before I was crowning. They call it the ring of fire for a reason 😂. I was screaming at the top of my lungs GET HER OUT OF ME!!! CAN I GET THAT EPIDURAL NOW??? The nurses laughed and said alright Mandi 1 last push! I felt this warmness on my belly. Followed by sweet little cries. I remember laying there and thinking books lied! The pain doesn’t go away after the baby comes out😒

My husband cut the cord and we hear the door open and my doctor saying let’s have a baby. Nurses were like um, we handled it. So if I had arrived any later my daughter would have been born in the car.

Moral of the story is….
Ladies I’m not going to sugar coat anything or lie.
Natural birth is hard work.
Natural birth hurts.
But doing so….I can say I traveled the road less traveled.
I did it. I felt empowered, strong and fearless.
You can too!
Be prepared for the road ahead.
I promise you won’t regret it.

Mental Health

I hope through this I can help even just one person who has been searching for answers. Because it’s May which is mental health awareness month, I feel like this would be a great topic to touch on.

Did you know one in four people in the world will be affected by mental or neurological disorders at some point in their life? Around 450 million people today currently suffer from conditions, placing mental disorders among the leading causes of ill-health and disability worldwide. Why is this important to me? Because I am one of those 450 million people who suffers from a few different mental health conditions actually. Some of those conditions being Anxiety, Depression, Addiction, OCD and ADHD. I can’t stress how important it is to talk about how you are feeling no matter how embarrassed you may feel. Theres a 99.9% chance someone else feels the same way and what better to learn then from each other.

What’s great about today is there are so many avenues you can take to talk about how you are feeling and you can choose whichever makes you feel most comfortable. That can be friends, family, 1-800 support lines and I’ve even seen so many good outcomes from people reaching out on social media which I know can be so hard. There’s usually at least that one person with that critical backlash. However there is that somebody you don’t even know out there who cares about you and your well being.

How do I deal with my mental health issues? I’ve tried SO many different pharmaceutical drugs for my mental conditions but either A. It wasn’t helping fully or B. There were side effects I didn’t completely understand and that made my anxiety specifically worse. I never really felt like there was hope. The pills were a bandaid for my emotions. A little over a year ago I was introduced to CBD and that my friends changed my life for the best!. I was able to fully understand how my mind works. I was actually able to think clearly for the first time in what felt like forever. What I love most is it’s natural and 100% safe to take being that I am pregnant with my third baby. It not only helps with my mental health issues but also helps my pain, discomfort and takes my nausea away, which unfortunately I have to deal with for the whole ten months. CBD heals and it heals naturally. I know it’s hard to reach out if you have questions because you don’t want to feel overwhelmed, stupid, or even scared. I will answer any questions openly, honestly and with 100% support. I’m excited to get to know ya’ll as you follow me through this journey and to support anyone who is needing it.

Till we meet again y’all ♥️

-Sami